People Can Be Confusing

Even bad people can do good things. When I looked back at my past and my family I realized that. I have wondered if I had gotten it right. So I made a list. Just between you and I for a second. Seriously. How would you like to keep the status quo these days for another ten years. I like quo. You can have the status. That’s not what I was up for. As for anything else? I believe that Eddie and I may have known that I would be facing this alone without Eddie to help, that we knew that we had only so many years together as friends. Eddie did not die of Syphilis (knowing him) he went in the Navy. I just wanted to say that I think we anticipated this to some degree. What I mentioned in here for a while is that I do not have memory loss. I just have an ambiguity to discuss the past and a well thought out affinity for being private. I cannot play the guitar or piano, the trumpet or saxophone or the drums or sing yet. I am going to have to relearn. And I am going to have to relearn the languages that I love and perhaps in God’s kindness the closeness to those memories will bring back my memories of languages and history and of Eddies life and the time that I may have got to spend sharing some of it with him. Am I stepping on toes? Yes. In a real world there are toes to consider.